Why
by Nerdz-Will-Rule-The-World
Summary: Amy... thinking about things before she makes a huge decision.


** I don't own anything... and this is a re-write okay people! I changed the story so that it has a bunch more writing and actually has a semi-plot (not really it's just a bunch of random things). I stopped writing for awhile due to lack of time, imagination, and it being to hot to do much of anything (damn you California weather!) So enjoy (I Hope) the new improved version.**

** Oh and by the way I refuse to write much of anything after book 4 in this one... because I haven't found the other books in my room to re-read them because I haven't read them in awhile and I only remember up to book 4. :'( So onward with the story!**  
**(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds**

(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸

I was by myself. Again. It didn't matter. I'm always alone nowadays. Dan's been leaving more times than not. "Looking for Clues", he says. I know better though. He's going to see Natalie. Nellie... Nelli's just gone. We haven't seen her in forever. She just up-ed and left one day. Left a note. Vague but a note none-the-less. That's why I'm here. On this bridge. Alone.  
(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

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_I'm standin' on the bridge  
I'm waitin' in the dark  
I thought that you'd be here by now  
There's nothing but the rain  
No footsteps on the ground  
I'm listening but there's no sound._

(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

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That's when I start to think. Think of all the things he had done to me. He had hurt me. More times than I can count. But I don't think I care anymore. I just want him here. With me. On this bridge. So I wasn't so alone. So I know that maybe he does care. But nobody knows I'm even here. I don't think Dan would even care anymore. But still... I wish someone was trying to find me. Someone would come take me back home to Boston. That someone would be with me.  
(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

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_Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home?  
It's a damn cold night  
I'm tryin' to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand?  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
But I'm, I'm with you  
I'm with you._

(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

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So I start to imagine things... that I'm with him. Dan's there to. So is Nellie and Grace. Heck! Even my parents are there. But then the scene changes and I'm in the cave with Dan and Uncle Alistar. Alone. Feeling unloved and stupid. Crying over a boy. That has not a care in the world. Now I see it. That my whole damn life is a mess. That nothing will _**Ever **_go right in my life. Dan's? Sure. Natalie's? Of course. _**His?**_Why wouldn't his life be perfect? He will never be alone. He has dozens of girls lining up for him and loads of money to keep him satisfied. Because even snobs like him don't like being alone.  
(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

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_I'm looking for a place  
I'm searching for a face  
Is anybody here I know?  
'Cause nothing's going right  
And everything's a mess  
And no one likes to be alone_

(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸

But I think I'm sorta getting the hang of it. Being alone. It gives me time to think. Think things through before I act. Like now. I'm thinking. About what things before I do this. Before I jump. Who would want me to stop? Not him. I'm just a pawn in this game. A pawn that should have been gotten rid of a while ago. So I might jump to make this easier. But... I might not jump just to spite the boy (almost man) who has tried to get rid of me countless times. Who has no feelings and doesn't want me. Never has. Who will never go to my funeral if I jumped. So maybe I won't jump. Just to spite him.  
(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

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_Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home?  
It's a damn cold night  
I try to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand?  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
But I'm, I'm with you  
I'm with you._  
_Oh, why is everything so confusing?  
Maybe I'm just out of my mind  
It's a damn cold night..._

(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸

Everything is so confusing. Do I want to do this? Do I really care? Does anyone else care? Why did I ever join this hunt? Why did he hurt me? What did I ever do to him? So confusing... Even my thoughts. Nothing is in order. Nothing. All I want to do is figure out what I'm doing here! Is that a problem! Am I a problem? Is it a problem that I'm still here... waiting? For people who will never care if I jump or not. I don't think so. I love them all. I can't do this. I can't.

(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

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_Tryin' to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand?  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
But I'm, I'm with you, yea  
I'm with you, yea_

_Take me by the hand  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
But I'm, I'm with you, yea  
I'm with you, yea_

_Take me by the hand  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are  
But I'm, I'm with you, oh  
I'm with you  
I'm with you_

(¯`v´¯)  
.`·.¸.·´ Nerds

(¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸

But why Ian? Why did you do this to me? Make me question everything? Everyone. Break that small amount of trust I had in you. Then take away my brother. But then again... my brother took your sister so I guess we're even. But I still wonder Ian... What would you do if I had jumped? I don't believe this... I'm talking to an imaginary Ian who will always answer he would scream and cry. The real one would laugh and walk away... But I have just one more question before I leave this bridge Ian: Why?

-If she had stayed and waited she would have seen him. With a frown on is face as he thought of what she might have been thinking... But it was his turn to be a minute to late-


End file.
